• Break Ups

    With spring turning to summer, we let nature take its inevitable course. Flowers bloom, birds chirp & relationships break in time to forget the memories in time for all of the Memorial Day weekend parties. Whether messy or clean, break ups can be difficult, which is why we asked Annabel Acton, founder of Never Liked It Anyway, to pick some of her favorite break up texts. Here’s what she had to say about it:

    Breakups. They’re not fun. But they don’t have to be as hideous as you may think. A while ago, I’d had a shitty breakup of my own and decided to build a site called NeverLikedItAnyway.com it’s basically a place that lets you tell your story and sell at that crap you’re left with when a relationship ends (Ed. note: …for booze money). It’s cheeky, it’s ballsy and it’s a good laugh. So if you’re wallowing in breakup land, don’t mope about. Find something to help you see the funny side fast.

    (513): He dumped me and I don’t wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?

    (704): I dumped him because he’s never seen star wars. I’m certain I did the right thing.

    (901): Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.

    (360): I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I’d always change the subject to bagels.
    (206): So. She dumped me today.
    (425): Well, maybe you shouldn’t have referred to going down on her as “Dumpster-Diving”.

    (708): After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying “thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded.”
    (513): i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply ” you need to play the field more anyway”

    (414): i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
    (719): she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
    (414): are you serious?

    (317): How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?

    • Submitted by Anonymous on May 11, 12 at 10:50am

      (210): Hey I know we kind of broke up last week but I just wanted you to know you’re going to be a daddy. The balloons are at your doorstep.

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