Did 2011 even happen? Seriously. Weren’t we just recapping 2010 like…yesterday? Despite our collective lack of memory, we managed to piece together a best and worst of the year list from the insane amounts of texts you sent to us. We laughed, we cried, we cringed, we were proud & we probably puked. It’s our pleasure to present you with the six best and six worst Texts From Last Night of 2011, as voted by you.
(818): Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
(619): My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
(321): I’m drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I’m getting laid and 75% chance I’ll enjoy it.
(417): Fuckbuddy couldn’t meet, so she’s trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
(703): She said she couldn’t find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
(1-703): Every man deserves at least one moment like that
(314): I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college…
(714): All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
(610): she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
(780): She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend… worst. ex. ever.
(512): Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
(206): My roommate didn’t flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don’t have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
(850): He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, “Happy Mother’s Day”
Think you did 2011 even better (or worse)? Got a head start on making 2012 even weirder? Leave it in the comments.