• Finals Week

    It’s that time of the year again – gouging out your eyeballs until 3 am, cracked out on Adderall while staring at all the material you can’t possibly cram into your brain in a two hour period (or two weeks if you’re lucky).

    How did it get so bad? How did you procrastinate so much? You think these thoughts often enough that you only delay studying even longer. Pretty soon you’ve been at the library for hours and the only thing you’ve gotten accomplished is a new profile picture.

    So go ahead, have marathon library days of 20mg XRs and double shot Ventis. After 2 hours of listening to the same 3 songs on repeat and refreshing Twitter, you’ll realize you’re better off going to the bar at 7p to celebrate a friend’s graduation instead. You’re screwed either way, so you might as well go out getting screwed.

    (612): Well, it’s 24 hours till finals. I need high A’s on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.

    (213): just used Clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. Hello finals week.

    (443): I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.

    (972): I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he’s gonna hook me up.

    (847): Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.

    (541): The girl is drinking wine and wathing grey’s anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors

    (615): If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.

    (309): I just want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons

    (309): so finals studying is going well?

    Have a finals survival story? “Stress relieving” strategies? Put it in the comments.

    • Submitted by Brandon on Dec 8, 11 at 1:16pm

      The word you’re looking for is “gouging,” not “gauging.”

    • Submitted by Chris on Dec 8, 11 at 1:18pm

      Me:I have a final paper due tomorrow at 1pm and I haven’t started it yet.

      College Roommate: Me too. I’ll meet you at the kitchen table with my laptop and a bottle of jack.

    • Submitted by cassidy on Dec 8, 11 at 2:39pm

      my lab partner gave me spiked orange juice today at noon. yep it’s finals week

    • Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 8, 11 at 2:50pm

      So, while everyone else is studying their asses of i get to spend maybe an hour a day studying :D I <3 being a commerce major xD

    • Submitted by C3S on Dec 8, 11 at 6:26pm

      Instead of learning for Tuesday’s final, I’m wondering in the middle of the night which roommate would be suite the moment..

    • Submitted by Megan on Dec 9, 11 at 1:07am

      6 more days to cram in a practical, a quiz and 5 tests. Seriously fuck finals.

    • Submitted by Brooke on Dec 9, 11 at 2:07am

      I have a 12 page case study due tomorrow. My group partner JUST finished his bit yesterday. I haven’t even STARTED my half. And we still have to write the last two pages together and we’re already half brain dead. Cue falling asleep with my cute Japanese group partner in the cafeteria at 4 on a Friday afternoon.

    • Submitted by Fashion Sketch on Dec 11, 11 at 11:49pm

      Finals are the best diet to lose weight . . . ” look my energy drink matches with my dinner (a pack of Vic’s mints)

    • Submitted by Rain on Dec 12, 11 at 3:26pm

      I have 6 hours to learn a whole semester of biology. Challenge accepted.

    • Submitted by Roo on Dec 12, 11 at 8:58pm

      Me:Dude, who schedules a final for 8 pm?
      Partner: The same one who gave you three packets and a practice test three days before.
      Me: Fuck this shit…

    • Submitted by SJ on Dec 13, 11 at 12:57am

      I graduated college last May, sucks to be you guys!

    • Submitted by Joseph on Dec 13, 11 at 9:34am

      An art major complained about finals, so I punched him in the face.

    • Submitted by Liz on Dec 13, 11 at 3:39pm

      30mg XR motivated me to write a 10 page essay the night before it was due. I called my Professor at 9:59am (1 minute before it was due) to tell him I would be there in 15 min. I finally showed up in his office around 2:30pm because I was so cracked out on Adderall I couldn’t drive. However, I got the exact grade I needed to get the transferable C for the course. Coincidental? Or pity from the professor? Probably the latter.

    • Submitted by Summer on Dec 13, 11 at 3:44pm

      The library is now open 24 hours and they’ve left out free cookies and hot chocolate…yeah, it’s finals.

    • Submitted by Kate on Dec 13, 11 at 3:46pm

      2 finals. 1 day. Being a music major rocks.

    • Submitted by austin on Dec 13, 11 at 10:50pm

      FINALS actually stands for something. Fuck I Never Actually Learned Shit

    • Submitted by Marni on Dec 14, 11 at 12:31am

      I thought I had 2 finals on Monday, 1 today, and 2 tomorrow. Turns out I had 1 on Monday, none today, 3 tomorrow, and 1 on Thursday. FML. Finals week wants us all to die. lol

    • Submitted by Greenbarette on Dec 16, 11 at 9:48pm

      In life there are no finals. Every day is a test.

    • Submitted by sofucked on Dec 19, 11 at 12:49am

      almost one gotta finish this paper and write 2 more before noon, where the fuck is there a liquor store open?

    • Submitted by oldguy on Dec 22, 11 at 10:23pm

      graduated two Mays ago… Having a real job sucks more than final… FORSURE!!!

    • Submitted by finalsblues on Dec 24, 11 at 3:31am

      After I finished all my finals I walked through the library and started icing random people

    • Submitted by yummm on Jan 2, 12 at 4:48pm

      For one of my finals we decorated Christmas cookies and had hot chocolate! Love being Ele Ed. major. Can’t say the rest were that easy though…

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