It’s that time of year again. Time to reminisce, make resolutions and plan for the future. Or time to make sure you have more potential partners lined up than 2009 Tiger Woods, a collection of fine photography that rivals that of Demi Lovato, Brett Favre and Kanye West combined, and the now vintage pre-ban Four Lokos you’ve been saving are chilled properly.
No matter what’s on your agenda, it’s crucial that whatever 2011 has in store outshines what 2010 delivered. For us here at TFLN, 2010 was pretty damn monumental. Our book came out in the US, UK, most of Europe and Australia; 1,000,000+ liked our Facebook fan page; we surpassed 1,000,000,000 pageviews to textsfromlastnight.com in April (that’s a lot of texts) and a bunch of other milestones that we missed while we looked through the thousands of texts that you send us daily.
To make sure that your 2011 starts right, we looked back to NYE 2009/2010 to find inspiration for the SMS/BBM/Kik/WhatsApp/GroupMe/FastSociety onslaught you’re sure to face tonight. Without further ado, we give you The Best NYE Texts from Last Year.
(919): I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I’m gonna wait till 2011
(704): so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie…
(408): i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
(334): The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
(626): Just got the American Express annual summary. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
(508): champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
(541): I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
(336): nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
(269): Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
(304): i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
(714): im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
(805): My phone now changes “me” to “mrrrrrrrrh”, thank you new years.
(606): A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week…
(904): nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
(918): my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
(724): the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling “happy new year.”
(814): there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
(512): I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
(410): new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
(617): we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
(732): The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
(229): New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Now it’s your turn to make NYE 2010/2011 the best yet. If you manage to remember one thing tonight, make it this: send anything TFLN worthy to 76843.
Cheers & thank you for the shitshow that was 2010,